It's been an adventure...this turmoil called unemployment. Since December so much is the same but so much is different as well. Tim is still without full time employment. He is getting freelance jobs here and there and I have one child in my care every day. Two our our adult children are living at home and helping with getting by. We are facing the real threat of losing our house if our situation doesn't change quickly.
You would think I would be depressed and overwhelmed. I don't feel that I am. The one thing that has changed to the positive is helping my husband and I find our way. Find our way back together when a few short months ago I almost thought that one or both of us were giving up on our marriage. We have for the first time in our 34 year marriage started attending church TOGETHER.
The first few years of our marriage I attended weekly Mass as I had done all my life as a devout Catholic. As I had children I took the kids along. Daddy however worked most Sundays and when he did because he wasn't Catholic he used that time to get extra sleep, an chore done or watch whomever was too young to attend Mass. When he was home on holidays Daddy would go with the kids and me. He worked hard to make sure the kids went to Catholic Schools for the first few years. Later we moved from our home town and the kids started attending a local public school. When we moved again the Catholic School had a waiting list and again the kids attended public school. Mom and the kids belonged to the local parish and I made sure they all went to "Sunday School" on Weds nights...at least till they protested that they were old enough to choose for themselves which I at the time felt was High School.
With four kids I was busy with all my volunteer work including work for the church and boy and girl scouts, 4H and PTA for often time three different schools. I attended church faithfully and all alone sometimes for the first 25 years of my marriage.
Then I had a lapse of faith or at least had a lapse in my commitment to my faith. I could share with you all my excuses. The failure of my church family, my pastor but the real failure was in myself. I had simply taken for granted my faith for so long and allowed it to become just background noise in my life. I prayed, I still believed, I still worshiped but I did not attend church regularly. The times I visited my mother's church I felt at home, at peace, renewed..but soon after I would return home those feelings were lost to me gain. Over the years I always considered myself a Catholic, and a Christian and I didn't give much thought on the impact that not attending church really had in my life. In our lives, and in our marriage.
Years ago I met a dear sweet friend of mine. She is a faithful church goer. Over the last few years she invited me to visit her home and attend church services a her Baptist Church. I have gone several times and each time attending adult Sunday School. At first I considered the experience interesting. But after I attended a few more times I started longing for what these people have...faith, and a church family to share it with. Even though I was not a Baptist, I was a Christian and could agree on many matters of faith they held dear. In other points I defended what I believed as a Catholic. I enjoyed these visits to her church and I wished that she didn't live so far away and I could worship with her more often. As positive as this experience was I soon lost that feeling as weeks went by and still nothing changed in my life at home.
My husband and I have a 10 year old granddaughter that we adore. I think we would move heaven and earth aside for this little girl. I don't know if it's because she is grandchild number one or because she spent her first years of life living in our home but she is more precious to us than words can express. As Jesus promised
"A little child share lead you." Payton started attending a local church with her other grandparents. She would tell us about the fun she had, what she learned and ask questions about our religious beliefs. We assured her we were Christians like she was and I also started to share some of the foundations of Catholic Belief that was her father's heritage. She asked us the hard questions including "Why don't you go to church?"
I didn't have an answer. She invited us to some of the services a her church. We attended and enjoyed the program, speaker or music that was featured. She asked us to watch her sing at the Christmas Program. We came and enjoyed the program and started to realize that we enjoyed the worship as well. We attended the Christmas Eve service with Payton and both my daughters and it was the official kickoff to our holidays. It was so nice to be all together and worshiping the Lord.
After Christmas there were more invitations and several times we visited Paytons Church. On Easter Sunday we attended the largest church gathering I have ever been to. Over 5,000 people, and at during the sermon I was so moved by the Pastors words that I knew I was changed forever. What I didn't know was that my husband who was sitting beside me was changed as well. When they asked whom among us felt that we were recommitted to Christ both my husband and I stood together holding hands. It was the day of our 34th wedding anniversary and the day our marriage was born again in Christ.
It was the most glorious Easter I have ever known. None of my children were there. No easter egg hunts, no candy baskets..just my husband and I and the Lord as if 5,000 people just slipped away.
My husband I attend church every week. We are considering joining "Payton's" church. We are talking about the plans God has for our family. We are talking about His Word. We are talking about things that have been unspoken for over 30 years. We have found our faith together and so it's making it easier for us. We are trusting that whatever plans lay before us they are God's Plans. We have found the Way!!
You would think I would be depressed and overwhelmed. I don't feel that I am. The one thing that has changed to the positive is helping my husband and I find our way. Find our way back together when a few short months ago I almost thought that one or both of us were giving up on our marriage. We have for the first time in our 34 year marriage started attending church TOGETHER.
The first few years of our marriage I attended weekly Mass as I had done all my life as a devout Catholic. As I had children I took the kids along. Daddy however worked most Sundays and when he did because he wasn't Catholic he used that time to get extra sleep, an chore done or watch whomever was too young to attend Mass. When he was home on holidays Daddy would go with the kids and me. He worked hard to make sure the kids went to Catholic Schools for the first few years. Later we moved from our home town and the kids started attending a local public school. When we moved again the Catholic School had a waiting list and again the kids attended public school. Mom and the kids belonged to the local parish and I made sure they all went to "Sunday School" on Weds nights...at least till they protested that they were old enough to choose for themselves which I at the time felt was High School.
With four kids I was busy with all my volunteer work including work for the church and boy and girl scouts, 4H and PTA for often time three different schools. I attended church faithfully and all alone sometimes for the first 25 years of my marriage.
Then I had a lapse of faith or at least had a lapse in my commitment to my faith. I could share with you all my excuses. The failure of my church family, my pastor but the real failure was in myself. I had simply taken for granted my faith for so long and allowed it to become just background noise in my life. I prayed, I still believed, I still worshiped but I did not attend church regularly. The times I visited my mother's church I felt at home, at peace, renewed..but soon after I would return home those feelings were lost to me gain. Over the years I always considered myself a Catholic, and a Christian and I didn't give much thought on the impact that not attending church really had in my life. In our lives, and in our marriage.
Years ago I met a dear sweet friend of mine. She is a faithful church goer. Over the last few years she invited me to visit her home and attend church services a her Baptist Church. I have gone several times and each time attending adult Sunday School. At first I considered the experience interesting. But after I attended a few more times I started longing for what these people have...faith, and a church family to share it with. Even though I was not a Baptist, I was a Christian and could agree on many matters of faith they held dear. In other points I defended what I believed as a Catholic. I enjoyed these visits to her church and I wished that she didn't live so far away and I could worship with her more often. As positive as this experience was I soon lost that feeling as weeks went by and still nothing changed in my life at home.
My husband and I have a 10 year old granddaughter that we adore. I think we would move heaven and earth aside for this little girl. I don't know if it's because she is grandchild number one or because she spent her first years of life living in our home but she is more precious to us than words can express. As Jesus promised
"A little child share lead you." Payton started attending a local church with her other grandparents. She would tell us about the fun she had, what she learned and ask questions about our religious beliefs. We assured her we were Christians like she was and I also started to share some of the foundations of Catholic Belief that was her father's heritage. She asked us the hard questions including "Why don't you go to church?"
I didn't have an answer. She invited us to some of the services a her church. We attended and enjoyed the program, speaker or music that was featured. She asked us to watch her sing at the Christmas Program. We came and enjoyed the program and started to realize that we enjoyed the worship as well. We attended the Christmas Eve service with Payton and both my daughters and it was the official kickoff to our holidays. It was so nice to be all together and worshiping the Lord.
After Christmas there were more invitations and several times we visited Paytons Church. On Easter Sunday we attended the largest church gathering I have ever been to. Over 5,000 people, and at during the sermon I was so moved by the Pastors words that I knew I was changed forever. What I didn't know was that my husband who was sitting beside me was changed as well. When they asked whom among us felt that we were recommitted to Christ both my husband and I stood together holding hands. It was the day of our 34th wedding anniversary and the day our marriage was born again in Christ.
It was the most glorious Easter I have ever known. None of my children were there. No easter egg hunts, no candy baskets..just my husband and I and the Lord as if 5,000 people just slipped away.
My husband I attend church every week. We are considering joining "Payton's" church. We are talking about the plans God has for our family. We are talking about His Word. We are talking about things that have been unspoken for over 30 years. We have found our faith together and so it's making it easier for us. We are trusting that whatever plans lay before us they are God's Plans. We have found the Way!!
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